Reaching Out: cont.

 

Here is the rest of the story which I gave you last week. It was written as a short story, but I wonder if it’s worth developing into something longer. What do you think?

As always, I appreciate your comments.

Reaching Out.

Slowly, she moves from the window. He notices the slight limp in her right leg. On the beach, walking on uneven sand, anyone’s feet could falter.  When he had walked into the meeting room last Sunday, she was already seated. He was the first to leave, afraid that if anyone spoke to him the anguish, loss and loneliness would come spewing out.

‘Do you have children, Isabel?’ He tries to keep the conversation general, but how can he get to know her with silly chitchat?

She leans on the table before sitting down and places her mug on the coaster, which he leaves there these days.

Briskly, he gets up, remembering his manners. She does not seem like the sort of woman— those modern, liberated ones—who will object to the chair routine.

‘Thank you, I’m fine,’ she says and sits down.

He notices the twitch at the corners of her mouth. Got that right, he thinks and returns to  his own seat.

They sip in silence for a while. She studies the books on shelves beside them. He pretends to watch the ocean, but can’t help glancing at this new friend, He likes the way she purses her lips in concentration.

‘Do you enjoy reading?’ She looks at him, then points to his wife’s collection.

He’s stumped. She’ll think him a Philistine. All that arty stuff—books, paintings, theatre, music—he left to Jess.

‘Well, yes, but not that kind of thing.’ He nods at the bookshelves. ‘I’m more into news, you know, the papers, television. I do a lot of research on the internet, find out what’s happening in the world.’ He hesitates, wanting to be honest but not reveal too much about himself.

‘My wife—she died, you know—she loved her novels. I’m no good at remembering names, but she could rattle off the latest prize winner or some new author she thought worth a try.’

He blinks away threatening tears. What’s wrong with me? Stop being an ass. This woman doesn’t want to know about Jess.

‘And what about you, Isabel? I guess you have favourite authors too?’

She takes another sip of coffee. ‘Yes, and I see that your wife—your late wife—and I have several in common. I still enjoy Jane Austen and Thomas Hardy. A bit soppy I suppose and certainly not a man’s choice.’

She looks directly at him, her fingers playing with the fabric of her skirt. ‘You asked if I have children. I don’t anymore. My daughter drowned in a neighbour’s pool when she was five years old. I have a son, but I never see him. He’s a drug addict.’ Her lips tremble and she turns away.

He wants to reach out, to give her his manly protection, but that, he’s been told, is not necessarily what the other person wants. He grips his hands together under the table. How can he help? What should he say? Is there anything he can say that might give this lovely woman some comfort?

‘Sorry,’ she says. ‘I try not to talk about it with strangers. Friends know how it upsets me, particularly Jamie. Vanessa was an accident. No-one’s fault, although of course I can’t forgive myself for not being more vigilant.’

She pulls a tissue from the pocket of her skirt and blows her nose. ‘Sorry,’ she says again, ‘perhaps you could tell me about you. Do you have children? Yes, of course you do.’ She stands up and walks to the clump of photos on the shelf above the television. ‘And I guess that’s your wife.’

He turns around and sees where Isabel is pointing. ‘Yes. Jess was killed in a road accident. Bloody truck, pardon my French, ploughed into her. She was on her way home from the ballet. It was a wet night, slippery road. The driver claimed he lost control, couldn’t do anything to avoid her.’

Isabel steps away from the photos and holds out her arms. He stumbles into her embrace, clasps her small, rounded body to his chest and lets the tears flow.

 

 

 

Friends In My Garden: Chestnut Tree

Today I have gone back to my book of poetry, ‘Friends In My Garden,’ for a poem that deals with family and friends who were grieving. ‘Chestnut Tree’ applies to men who suddenly lose a child, sometimes through death, but it could also be through family breakdown or some other kind of separation, hence the ‘branch in youthful bloom.’ The men for whom I wrote this struggled on never really recovering from that loss but hiding their grief, grateful for any moment of happiness that came their way. It’s a sad poem. I offer it to you to pass on if you wish. My poems were written to be shared and many readers told me of their gratitude for my ability to put into words the things they wanted to say but didn’t know how.

CHESTNUT TREE

Braced

upright

his strong side

fronts the world.

Once the chestnut tree stood firm

thinking nought could shatter him

but look to the scar he bares

where ripped from his heart

a branch in youthful blossom

crashed to the ground

one winter’s night.

His days now greet the morning mist

relished is each ray of sunshine.

 

 

 

The Door

When my late husband died I felt very alone, as we all do while dealing with grief. My home was sold shortly before he died, I couldn’t find a suitable replacement and spent several months with kind friends. This idea of searching for a new life, where I would find peace and contentment came to me then.

The Door

Its surface is rough and blistered

the handle is shaky

blackened with age.

Like Alice

I need to find the magic words

but I’m afraid

that never-ending loneliness

waits beyond this door

that drifting in a world of grey

is not the life for me.

 

I summon up courage

and paint on a smile

prepare to wait

it could take a while

for the door that’s right

to appear.

 

Coloured like jewels

from the brush of Gustav Klimt

it opens to melodies

of Mozart and Lizst.

With angelic voices

we sing Gregorian chant

while walking through forests

and resting by streams.

 

Clothes are floaty

no cares of fashion

even the old

wear beauty with grace.

Sex isn’t an issue

nor ego.

Faces are smiling

we fulfil our dreams.

 

I write my story in the air.

Words float away

like the music of birds

not recorded

cherished for the moment

in which they’re created.

Later, I’ll find them

remembered

like the sounds of a symphony

or the trace of a touch.

 

I’m still alone

inside this brightly coloured zone

but have no fear.

Colours – Grey

P1010593 (640x281)

Grey is not one of my favourite colours, but I think it depicts the emotional state of someone experiencing this kind of loss and grief.

 

 

The ocean's rhythm

The ocean’s rhythm

 

GREY

She watches the sun set then gathers her jacket closer to her chest. Under her bare feet the sand feels crunchy. It makes a squelching sound with each step. The water whispers ‘Sh-sh-sh,’ then retreats with an inward sigh, as if drawing breath before rushing back to the shore.

Toes half-buried in the sand, the woman waits. No matter how hard she tries to resist, the shock of that first splash catches her breath and forces a short, sharp squeak from her. Two waves later and her response is childlike. She rolls her trackpants higher and dances along the water’s edge, swaying in and out with the ocean’s rhythm.

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Friends In My Garden – A Tree of Grace

This poem was written for my daughter, Stephanie, who demonstrated such courage and determination after the loss of her baby and her husband in a car crash in 1990. It still makes me cry but I hope it shows how much I love and admire her.

It has been shared with many readers who lost loved ones. Please feel free to pass it on

A Tree of Grace

In my garden grows a tree

with silver leaves and flowers

of magical hue.

On her trunk

a trace of scars

tempest caused

the year her buds fell unformed

and she shivered

branches bare.

But rainbow nourished

laughter bathed

wrapped in courage

love healed by spring.

Strong she stands

a shimmering shining tree full of grace

and beauty

sparkling my garden with silver

and golding my heart.